The Last Door

Many years ago, a friend invited me to attend a meeting that he described as a men’s peer to peer support and accountability group. One of their main tenants is to hold each other accountable to their commitments. Upon arrival, the group gathered in a football type of huddle where each member stated their goal for the week and their goals for the year. When it was my turn, the leader said, “we can skip Mark, Buddhist don’t have goals”. We all laughed and moved on.

After many years, this statement still sticks with me. “Buddhist don’t have goals”. I have wondered, where did this perception come from. Usually, when I hear or read comments about Buddhist teachings, I remind myself of the many different traditions and cultures that Buddhism encompasses. There are some traditions that place an emphasis on the role of fate in one’s life direction. This may have contributed to the misconceptions that Buddhist do not have goals. Although there are many traditions, they all share the “goal” or aspiration to become more aware of the self and how we, as an individual or as part of group affect ourselves and others.

Rev Harada gave a Dharma talk that included a section on setting and achieving goals. In this discussion he emphasized that, of course, we should have goals, this is an important part of life. We have career, educational, personal growth and family well being goals. Even financial and material goals are needed to provide a comfortable life for ourselves and our families. It is how we perceive and act on our goals that determines our happiness or contentment. As I recall, a few of the examples that he provided included buying a new car, then within a few days thinking that you should have purchased “better” car or a car with more features, instead of enjoying the new car. Other examples included the belief that once we set a goal, that we will only achieve happiness once that goal is realized. While striving for our goal we may, without being aware of it we cause ourselves angst by deferring the present and missing what is right in front of us. We may view our achieving a single goal as the last door to contentment.

This Dharma talk resonated with me; I could see myself in similar circumstances. When I was twenty-five, I opened a Printing and Advertising Business. I enjoyed the work and the challenges of owning a business. To refer to myself as a workaholic would be an understatement, twelve hours per day, six days a week was the norm. To recall it now, it seems like a dream. There are many lessons that I learned, many lessons that I have carried through life. There were many things that were right in front of me that I did not see.  I always believed that just one more client, one more large project, one more purchase of new equipment. Just one more, then I would be content. Just one last door.

The Buddhist teachings on Dukkha and Sukkha, the Middle Path, and a Life of Gratitude, may serve as our guides to achieving goals and aspirations.

Dukkha comes from the original Pali definition of a metaphor, stated as a bad hole at the center of a chariot wheel. The metaphor refers to the bumpy ride that is experienced when a wheel is out or round. The source of our bumpy ride, the root of our angst is caused by grasping or attachment to things that will change. In Pali, Sukkha is the inverse metaphor, meaning a wheel in center resulting in a smooth ride. Buddhist teachings do point out that life can be “bumpy road”, but the true emphasis is on creating the conditions that lead to a “smoother road”. On a smooth path we can set our goals while at the same time knowing that if a goal changes or is not achieved exactly as planned, we may still be on the right path.

In the minds of many, there is an opinion that Buddhism encourages a passive way of thinking and living. In a real-world view, Buddhism requires active participation, some of the teachings do not come so easily. They are called practices for a reason. The Easy Path sounds easy until you try it. The Middle Path is an active practice, active in the sense that we must be aware of when we are too relaxed, and we must be aware of when ego emotions are in control or out of control. Gratitude is an active practice, it is more than saying thank you, it is a profound understanding that although we seem to be separate, our lives are due to and are lived for others.

The Last Door

It is a long, long corridor

Doors on the left, doors on right

Having plenty of time, many doors are opened, many more were closed

Some rooms are dark others were bright

Sometimes we stayed too long

Other times we left too soon 

Looking, it was always there 

The only handle not yet turned

The last door down the corridor

Strange how we get use to the noise,

we don’t even notice it until it becomes silent 

Starting with a whisper on the breeze

A breeze, a storm, a breeze, a clear sky

Calmly now, open the last door

What are you doing back here? 

Who are you looking for? 

The weeds have grown over the door,

they don’t live here anymore, neither can you

Going into the past to find that no one is there 

It’s time to go through the last door

Searching, searching we are always searching

Asking the question that cannot be unasked 

Answered, it cannot be unheard

Searching for a corner in a circle

We’ve always known

Behind the last door is another door

In Gassho,

Mark S. Van Dyke