Pride Starts Here
Buddhism recognizes that we are all one and each of us is accepted just as we are. We are also taught that none of us has a fixed, non-changing self. In a sense, we move through life forever changing and growing. This includes gender, which is also a continuum not a fixed identity. Like the Legendary Drag Queen Supermodel of the World, RuPaul says,
“We are all born naked and the rest is drag.”
As a society we have forgotten that at the end of the day we are all human. Despite our gender, ethnicity, sexuality, height, clothes, hair, accessories, makeup etc. We are all just people trying to survive, grow, and learn. As a member of the LGBTQIA+ community I feel there is a real opportunity for me to help others understand how we can better support those in this community.
Sometimes we forget about one of the most important letters in LGBTQIA+, it is the letter ‘A’. The letter ‘A’ stands for Ally. An Ally is defined as, “a person or organization that actively supports the rights of a minority or marginalized group without being a member of it.” I’ve noticed lately within my circle of friends, and people in general, will say they are an Ally of the community but do not behave as such through their words and actions. To be a successful Ally, we need to know what this truly entails. To help, I try to educate my friends and family on easy ways to show their support in the community.
It is very common to feel scared because you don’t want to do or say the wrong thing to an LGBTQIA+ person. I always try to tell my family that doing or saying nothing is worse than trying and making a mistake. Gay, trans, & non-binary people will be happy and really appreciate when they see that you are trying. If you make a mistake just say you are sorry and learn to do better next time. Here are some easy but effective ways to show your support as an ally.
First, don’t assume gender with anyone. For example, let’s say you meet a new friend who identifies as male. Do not assume he has a girlfriend or wife. A great substitute is to say do you have a partner or what is your partners name? This way you can keep it gender neutral and this gives your friend the space to tell you more about themselves and their personal life when they feel comfortable.
Second, another easy fix is not to assume one’s gender based on a person’s clothes, make up or hairstyle. For example, you meet a new person and you do not know their gender or are unsure. The best way is to ask them what their pronouns are. A person who is trans or non-binary would be so appreciative if you would just ask them what their pronouns are rather than assuming gender. Long hair, a skirt or makeup is a fashion choice, it does not signal gender.
At the end of the day the people of the LGBTQIA+ community want to be seen and heard. Moving forwards, we, the general public, need to be open, try new approaches, and not be afraid to make mistakes as we learn from our LGBTQIA+ family and friends.
And last, but not least, please support your local drag queens! :)
